My life as a SAHM and Military Wife

Being Content

boyercl — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:00:56 +0000

Lately I’ve been struggling with making some important decisions regarding our family’s future. My husband’s military commitment will be up in 1 year and we are trying to determine where to live after that. I’m very indecisive and just don’t feel a sense of peace about either option we have been discussing for quite some time. I feel frustrated because I really don’t feel like I’m getting much direction from God and am more confused the more my husband and I talk about it. It makes me wonder how much I truly trust God and if I should just let the future happen instead of trying to plan it all out. Proverbs 3:5 states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” I need to remind myself that God is in control and has a plan for our lives. Psalm 47:10 states “Be still, and know that I am God.” That’s very hard for me because I’m a type-A personality and I want to know and plan out all the details. I think planning ahead for your future is responsible and beneficial, however I’ve started worrying and obsessing over it. This is wasted time and shows my lack of trust in God. Matthew 6:34 teaches I need not worry about the future. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

I wonder if part of the reason I’m so anxious is because I’m just not content with my current circumstances and want to ensure that wherever we live next, I will be happy. I’ve been working on my attitude for quite some time now, but still seem to focus on the past and wish for things that are long gone. At church this past weekend the pastor talked about Psalm 37:4. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” I asked myself if I truly delight in the Lord. Honestly, my answer has been no lately. My prayer is that God please help me to change my heart and to be content wherever I live. Also, I pray not to get caught up in the world’s desires for it leaves me feeling empty and unhappy.

Bored

boyercl — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:54:38 +0000

Ughh. I’m bored and sick of feeling this way. Right now I’m at Sheppard AFB with my hubby who is a doc in the Air Force. DD is taking a rather long nap. Hubby is taking a class and I’m stuck most of the day in a little room doing nothing much. I hate missing working. I worked so hard for my B.S. and M.S. degree and worked for about 7 years before quitting. This feeling gets old, but it’s still present always making me feel guilty. My hubby and I have a big decision in the next year as to whether to get out of the military or sign on for more time. If we get out, we could move back home and I could work and use my mother-in-law as the nanny. She’s already agreed and would be excited to help out. It seems like a nice option because she could come over to our house and loves our dd so much. However, my hubby really loves his job in the military and wants to sign on. In fact, he wants to retire in the military. That’s another 14 years of moving around every 4 years. I don’t mind military life (except for TDYs and deployments) and enjoy the great benefits (insurance, pay, job security, traveling). I’m not sure how the working situation would work if we stay in the military. I refuse to use daycare. It scares the crap out of me and I won’t put my dd in it for 40-50hrs a week. I don’t feel any better about nannies. I need to find more support blogs of SAHMs. I suppose I could work part-time, such as teaching at a community college. I might teach a lab or two this fall.

I really love taking care of my dd and spending time with her. I’m mainly staying home for her because she needs her mommy. I don’t want some stranger raising her just so I can feel good about myself or meet my needs.

Background

boyercl — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 00:55:41 +0000

I’ve been a SAHM now for 7 months with my dear daughter V. I haven’t worked sinced June 2006 because my husband and I moved to a remote base and I couldn’t find a job in my field (chemistry). My hubby is a physician in the Air Force. I must admit I really struggle with missing working, but also enjoy being a SAHM. Before I had my dd, I worked as a chemist for about 7 years and enjoyed it very much. I used to be fine with daycare (before I had kids) and figured I would use it in the future when I had a baby, but now I’m not so sure about it. I can see how much work it takes to take care of an infant. I have also been able to experience motherhood w/o the pressure of having to return to work. I remember when I used to work full-time, I would get up about 6AM, commute to work, work until about 4:30, commute home, work-out at the gym, eat dinner and veg on the couch. I was totally spent by the end of the day and barely wanted to talk with my hubby. My dd goes to bed around 6:30-7PM. I can’t imagine working all day and then spending about 2 hours with her a day. I would miss out on so much. However, I also am bored a lot and sometimes resent the fact that my husband doesn’t have to deal with these issues. My hubby asks me which one is more important to me, but honestly I don’t really know. I think I want to work for me and my needs, but I choose to stay-at-home because it’s what my dd needs. Also, I’m trying to look at the bigger picture and know that in the future I will never look back and say I wish I had worked more over spending the time with my dd.

Verses

boyercl — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 23:37:30 +0000

I thought I’d share a couple of my favorite Bible verses for Christmas.

John 3: 16-18 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotton Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”

1 John 5:11-13. “And this is the testimony; that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. These things I have written onto you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God.”

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Hello blogging world!

boyercl — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 15:29:18 +0000

Hello bloggers!

I’m new to the blogging world. I really enjoy reading everyone’s blogs and wonder if I might also enjoy online journaling. I’m such a private person and according to my husband can be distant with my feelings, but this is a way to share my feelings and experiences in a unique way. Sometimes I’ve found telling family and close friends about my problems makes me feel worse. It’s hard when people continuously ask you about something negative or can be judgemental. This seems like a way to communicate with a lot of cyber friends and get support, encouragement and good conversation with no pressure.